Ordinarily, rankings are easy. It’s a simple matter of taste in a personally-published article, so the “criteria” can be whatever the writer desires and can get modified to suit their needs. Fortunately, I take my rankings very seriously, so I create less criteria and only slightly modify them to suit my needs slightly less than the average writer. Yay, me.

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It’s simple: a good Bond song must possess the following qualities:

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1. A happy marriage to its era. If it’s the Roger Moore cheese, sound like it.

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2. An understanding of its film. Daniel Craig’s entries are edgier than their predecessors, so we need some shredding guitar or dramatic orchestral arrangements. “Skyfall” would sound wrong in a movie where Bond parasurfs down a massive wave towards an ice palace.

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3. Solid vocals. This is a gimme. Ya gotta have pipes. You don't need to be a belting diva, but if your voice is nails on a chalkboard, boo you.

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4. Be a good song… obviously.

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All that said, it’s time to rank every single Bond song from worst to best!

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(You're welcome for mostly choosing the movie versions)

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24. “The Man with the Golden Gun” - Lulu, The Man with the Golden Gun (1974)

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What is this song, who decided it should see the light of day, when during that unfortunate acid trip was that decided, where is that person now, and why should they not be tried for crimes against humanity? Lulu’s voice isn’t quite nails on a chalkboard, but it’s certainly not one that functions well outside Take That’s iconic cover of “Relight My Fire." Also, the orchestration is bizarre. It’s rabid and desperate from the opening notes and tries way too hard.

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23. “Writing’s On the Wall” - Sam Smith, Spectre (2015)

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“Writing’s On the Wall” is a decent idea: soaring strings, delicate piano, and a big ballad singer to elevate the themes to epic heights. Sadly, great ingredients don’t guarantee an exquisite dish. Sam Smith is so overwrought that we not only dread the excruciating falsetto, but cannot escape the song’s emptiness (or whininess). Smith claims to have written the song in only 20 minutes, and boy, does it show.

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Seriously, that falsetto is the auditory equivalent of eating a warhead.

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22. “License to Kill” - Gladys Knight, License to Kill (1989)

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It feels criminal to rank Gladys Knight this low on any list, but we cannot deny that despite its iconic leading lady, “License to Kill” is an archaic, silly ballad that accomplishes the rare “feat” of having an intriguing verse letdown by an asinine chorus. It’s insufferably corny, reeking of ‘80s cheese in all the ways that don’t work and none of the ways that do.

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I’ve got a license to kill/and you know I’m goin’ straight for your heart.

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Bleck.

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Note: Do your ears a favor and stick to the 3-minute opening credits version.

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21. “For Your Eyes Only” - Sheena Easton, For Your Eyes Only (1981)

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It starts strong for Scottish songstress Sheena Easton: the opening production promises a sexy, atmospheric ‘80s love ballad, a kick-off to the new decade of Bond that feels (for its time) current and exciting. Sadly, the rest doesn’t measure up. Easton doesn’t have the range to go where the song wishes to take her, and it ultimately winds up being your average (and I mean average) ‘80s sad sap lover’s lament sung by a forgettable vocalist.

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Meh.

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20. “A View to a Kill” - Duran Duran, A View to a Kill (1985)

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Okay, so the “good verse, bad chorus” feat is less rare than I realized. Duran Duran was firing on all cylinders in the mid-'80s, but “A View to a Kill” makes it clear they peaked with “Hungry Like the Wolf.” The Brit band’s offering starts strong but becomes scattershot and unfocused, concluding with a feeling that no one behind the music ever knew what they wanted the song to be or accomplish. It’s always nice to revisit the older Bond songs that are more upbeat and “fun,” but “A View to a Kill” is one of the lesser offerings of its kind.

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19. “All Time High” - Rita Coolidge, Octopussy (1983)

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If nothing else, “All Time High” perfectly captures the smooth sensuality with which the Roger Moore era attempted to instill 007 (with mixed results). Sadly, the actual song is lifeless; if you’re going to write a song that’s essentially an ode to screwing (and “falling in love with”) Moore’s Bond, at least make it something we could imagine ourselves doing the horizontal tango to in the first place.

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18. “The Living Daylights” - A-ha, The Living Daylights (1987)

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“The Living Daylights” is almost indistinguishable from its predecessor, “A View to a Kill,” rendering it a lifeless, unmemorable entry into the Bond song canon. It isn’t awful, but much like the two Dalton films, it lacks any quality that makes us want to revisit it, especially considering the incredible heights reached by those that came before and after. The band had an infamously contentious relationship with composer John Barry, the father of Bond music and co-producer on the track. If they’d been able to resolve their differences and focus on the music, there’s a good chance Barry would’ve left a bigger imprint on the final product, and “The Living Daylights” would be a better listen.

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17. “You Only Live Twice” - Nancy Sinatra, You Only Live Twice (1967)

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Yes, the opening strings are iconic (and fantastic), but we can’t acclaim a song for its first 20 seconds when the rest is so uninspiring.  Unfortunately, "You Only Live Twice" teases genius in its opening that it never truly reaches, thanks in no part to Nancy Sinatra’s middling vocal ability (can anyone say "nepo baby?").

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16. “The World Is Not Enough” - Garbage, The World Is Not Enough (1999)

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Eon went a different route when selecting the artist for the millennium’s final Bond film. Ordinarily, the honor goes to an established artist at the peak of their powers, but for The World is Not Enough’s title track, they selected Garbage, an American rock band who’d experienced decent success but hadn’t secured the global stardom of Tina Turner, Duran Duran, Tom Jones, Gladys Knight, Paul McCartney, or any of the other music superstars that’d gone Bond.

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It’s not that it’s a hard and fast rule that the bigger the artist, the better the song, but the relative obscurity of Garbage shows in as many bad ways as good. It evokes that spy film essence and possesses an individual flair some Bond numbers lack, but it’s also too restrained and anticlimactic to satisfy.

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15. “Diamonds Are Forever” - Shirley Bassey, Diamonds Are Forever (1971)

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Bassey’s middle child is by far her least compelling offering. It has a lot of promise, and there isn’t much negative to say, but it suffers predominantly for not leaving any impression. It ends as quickly as it begins, and when the final notes play out, you’re left feeling like it’s a song anyone could’ve written and recorded. It may do for an ordinary movie song, but it’s nowhere near the Bond standard.

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14. “Die Another Day” - Madonna, Die Another Day (2002)

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Madonna’s ode to auto-tune and contrived quirk usually ranks at the bottom of these lists. Yet, we can’t deny how perfectly it encapsulates everything about its asinine movie, fully equipped with ice palaces, invisible cars, and tsunami surfing.

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It’s never a good idea to credit people just for trying something new; refusing to consider the execution inspires further laziness. If there’s any merit to the final product, then three cheers for something new. Madonna doesn’t totally pull off this genre-buster (brace yourself for the bonkers Sigmund Freud namedrop), but she does well enough that, although it’s far from the best Bond song, it’s also far from the worst.

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13. “We Have All the Time In the World” - Louis Armstrong, On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (1969)

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Louis Armstrong’s vocals are best left for flowery lyrics about trees of green and red roses too, but that doesn’t stop his entry from blooming all the same. It’s not the most interesting of the franchise’s tunes, but it expertly captures the simple magic of the early days of James Bond and his various exploits.

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(Yeah, it's a secondary theme, but it's an enduring part of the Bond legacy, so there).

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12. “Skyfall” - Adele, Skyfall (2012)

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Adele fever took the world by storm in 2011 when her second album, 21, became a global phenomenon. It launched “Skyfall” to greater critical success than it deserved, but that doesn’t make it bad. It has a mystique without trying too hard and sets the tone for the movie well, but over a decade removed from those rose-colored Adele glasses, it leaves some to be desired.

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11. “Another Way to Die” - Jack White & Alicia Keys, Quantum of Solace (2008)

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Panned at the time for its bizarre pairing and general haphazardness, “Another Way to Die” is now underrated. It’s White whose weak vocals sink the duet, but the arrangement, with all its edge and aggression, compliment Keys’ earnestness well, making for a song that deserves better than most rankings give it.

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10. “Thunderball” - Tom Jones, Thunderball (1965)

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We cannot escape that “Thunderball” is a cheap attempt at capitalizing on the brassy brilliance of “Goldfinger,” but Tom Jones’ turn at bat stands firm on its own. The epic final note is enough to drag it to the surface of a Bond song ranking, but there’s also a lot of fun before the grand finale. It feels just as cheeky as it does earnest, and Jones injects so much fire into every note that it becomes a fantastic sing-a-long.

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9. “From Russia With Love” - Matt Munro, From Russia With Love (1963)

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Forgotten ‘60s crooner Matt Munro gives the goods with his best Sinatra impression over a simple production that expertly conjures images of a dashing Sean Connery seducing vixens and saving the world. It’s one of the few Bond songs that sounds like it could be a standalone single, a template the series drifted away from in many subsequent entries but works wonders for its kick-off.

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8. “Moonraker” - Shirley Bassey, Moonraker (1979)

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“Moonraker” finds Bassey at her most restrained, forgoing the epic belting that characterized “Goldfinger” and got only a slight reduction in “Diamonds Are Forever.” It lends “Moonraker” a quieter quality that was a sweet reprieve from the bombastic production of most of the ‘70s numbers. It’s not particularly distinctive, but it masters the simple things; in a franchise famous for big, bold, "listen to me" music, it still feels like a breath of fresh air.

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7. “No Time to Die” - Billie Eilish, No Time to Die (2021)

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Age truly is nothing but a number, at least when it comes to music. Eilish became the youngest person to write and record a Bond song at only 18, and, working as always with her producer brother Finneas, managed to do better what both “Skyfall” and “Writing’s On the Wall” attempted. It has the evocative, atmospheric intrigue of Adele’s number and the elaborate production of Smith’s… offering. Eilish’s infamous whisper-singing has many detractors, but it works magic here, and she makes arguably the dumbest title work in the song while expertly relaying the movie’s themes.

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6. “You Know My Name” - Chris Cornell, Casino Royale (2006)

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Few Bond songs capture their movie like Chris Cornell’s shredder, a guitar-laden festival of edge that perfectly introduces the thorough characterization that breathed new life into the franchise. The chorus is a tad anticlimactic considering all the force Cornell brings to the verse, but “You Know My Name” is not only a fantastic Bond song but a true ambassador for its movie.

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5. “Live and Let Die” - Wings, Live and Let Die (1973)

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In truth, Paul McCartney’s beloved track has its faults for the sake of this countdown: for all its wacky, scattershot genius, it doesn’t always feel like a “Bond” song, which is an admittedly subjective and mostly unquantifiable idea. Still, it’s a nearly faultless encapsulation of the ‘70s Moore era’s manic energy. There’s no mistaking: hearing this song will tell you everything you need to know about what Bond was 50 years ago, particularly in this specific entry, equipped with Jane Seymour’s Solitaire and a menacing Yaphet Kotto.

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4. “GoldenEye” - Tina Turner, GoldenEye (1995)

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Okay, let's say it: Shirley Bassey was right about that note. The instrumentation made it too tall a task; even a legendary diva like Turner couldn't pull it off.

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Still, it’s refreshing (especially when listening chronologically) to hear a theme that sounds like it belongs in a spy movie. The opening four notes establish mystery and intrigue, and Turner’s vocals match the energy. The franchise needed to rebound after the dreck of late-era Moore and the uninspired Dalton entries. “GoldenEye” announced a new age in stunning style.

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3. “Tomorrow Never Dies” - Sheryl Crow, Tomorrow Never Dies (1997)

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Many Bond fans wish Crow's entry had gotten trashed for k.d. lang’s “Surrender,” which is a middling, lifeless song that would’ve blended seamlessly with he uninspired Bond tunes of the ‘60s and ‘80s.

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Crow’s vocal range gets stretched well beyond its limits, and the chorus doesn't live up to the verse, but the lyrical imagery and production create an essence that’s wholly individual amongst the other themes and feels like a perfect-follow up to the mystique created with “GoldenEye” two years before.

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2. “Goldfinger” - Shirley Bassey, Goldfinger (1964)

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It's typical placing “Goldfinger” so high, but it’s revered for a reason. Big, brassy, and bold, Bassey’s Bond debut is a (welcome) assault on the senses, locking you in a vice grip from its iconic opening notes to its belting finale and injecting just as much delightful cheese into itself as genuine artistry. Thank God producer Harry Saltzman didn’t get his way; the Bond song may have died if “Goldfinger” hadn’t lived.

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1. “Nobody Does It Better” - Carly Simon, The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)

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Frankly, this wasn’t close. There’s a solid argument to be made that, despite the ceaseless (and mostly baseless) adoration for the works of The Beatles and Bob Dylan, this is the best song ever written. If nothing else, Radiohead’s Thom Yorke (who got snubbed of a Bond song himself) hit the nail on the head by calling it the “sexiest song ever written.”

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Simon’s sensual delivery perfectly compliments Marvin Hamlisch’s blessed deviation from the bonkers production of most Bond themes to that point, and we must applaud this for being the only theme to use the film’s title in the lyrics without being named after the movie. It’s been nearly a half century, and it’s just as true now as it was then: when it comes to Bond songs, no one has ever done it better.

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